you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
