Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
