I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
