She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Your cock deserves a montage
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
