I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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