but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
