He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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