I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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