Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
