before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
