you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
