When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
