I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
