You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
