Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize