Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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