I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
