Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
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We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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