Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she woke up with a sticky ear
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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