But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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