hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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