What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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