I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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