You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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