you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
