Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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