There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
