About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
