remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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