I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize