What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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