**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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