It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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