I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
