i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
