i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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