you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize