Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
