Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
