I could make wine with my vomit
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
