I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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