when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
