Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
