Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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