Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
