So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
