i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Found the puke drawer
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
