Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
