i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
