If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
