They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize