I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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