shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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