8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
