I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Pooping to opera.
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