there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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