biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
