There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
