She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
