Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
3 2 1 whiskey
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
